Dating becoming friends first
Jealousy and possessiveness occur in all relationships- including friendships.I've been envious of new friends that supplant old friendships.For example, my biggest turn on is someone with vocal talent-specifically impersonations.If you can do a really good Kermit imitation, I'm yours.When I meet someone, I can size him up in about 30 seconds and decide whether or not we will ever see each other naked.If I'm attracted to a guy, then I really can't befriend him.
This all sorta misses Eric Berne's point that "the essence of friendship is that there is no active Parental ego state under ordinary conditions.
I've never been "friends first" with a boy, though the concept is quite fascinating. Many experts advise that couples should be friends first.
Imagine you meet someone that you're not attracted to. Then the relationship is based on personal compatibility, not just sexual chemistry. Grace Cornish avers that romances that begin as friendships are more likely to succeed: "You're always kind to your friend. There's no respect if you become possessive and controlling." "If you have a genuine friendship, you're not going to pretend to be someone you're not so a person can marry you.
I've found that the only real distinction between friend and boyfriend is the attraction factor.
A boyfriend is actually a friend that you'd like to get kinky with as soon as possible.
Then later, as some times goes by, suddenly, you begin to notice all these fantastic qualities about them that you didn't know existed, and boom! You're looking for your friend to get ahead by looking out for his best interest. Some people are on their best behavior until they cross the threshold. But your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first.