Dating burn out

31-Jan-2015 10:25

After I’d started with the pick-up community, I had some successes, but so much of my self-esteem and sense of self-worth was tied up in my performance as a pick-up artist that every single woman I would talk to became a referendum on my value as a man.I would be so focused on my immediate goal – getting her into bed – that the whole process felt mechanical; it was an if-then-else flow-chart as I tried to direct her down the path that would end with us making out in the corner of the bar before heading back to my place for 30 minutes of squishy noises followed by the awkward “does she stay the night or should I call a cab” conversation.You try to get through it as quickly as possible instead of doing it as well as you can.It becomes the emotional equivalent of trying to perform ballet while tensing every muscle in your body at the same time.Maintaining a positive outlook is a habit; the sooner you cultivate it, the easier and more relaxing you’ll find dating to be.One of the most important things in dating is to be willing to be outcome independent. They couldn’t stand it: the frustrations of trying to find the right person, the disappointment of another “close-but-no-cigar” first date that went absolutely nowhere.

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The less you’re enjoying the process, the more that it’s going to show through your body language, through the way you talk to others, even in the way you .

One of my friends has been back on the dating market for a few months now and has been consulting with me over some of her dates.

One of the things I’d noticed right off the bat was the way she was approaching each night’s date: “Well, this is going to suck…” And, like clockwork, it would.

A bad date can be more proof that you’re going to die alone or it can be something to laugh about with friends later; one of my favorite bad dates ended up with me following a woman around Austin looking for her coke dealer.

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A willingness to laugh at the absurdity of it all can make the difference between something being soul-crushing and just another anecdote to share when you and your future snugglebunny are swapping war stories.I’d be going home feeling like twenty pounds of crap in a ten pound sack, carrying the tattered remains of my ego back to my car in the single man’s equivalent of the walk of shame.