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09-Jan-2016 15:01

This is an idea that will be put off -- at least -- until s/he finishes his/her epic poem about how we were all systematically brainwashed to crave affection and acceptance from the ruling class via re-runs of "Family Ties" and the boyishly handsome visage of Alex. A hipster will say: "Hurry, person-I-am-dating-sans-label, there's a 4 a.m.

rave at this abandoned cannery down by the river complete with ziplines, a giant teepee and tons of illicit substances, and I'm giving you three seconds to get dressed and show up or I'm going to get distracted by something shi-" A cat will say: Nothing.

Throughout history, certain groups, cultures, and religions have been hated for no other reason than the fact that they just happen to be THAT certain group, culture, or religion.

But anyone who's taken the time to truly think about hate and realize it's a waste of energy can learn to be above it.

A hipster is probably partially dating you because you know how to regularly feed yourself.

(Sometimes you just forget to eat when mastering the art of the Mellotron.) S/he will be grateful when you provide him/her with a meal -- and will likely help him/herself to your abundant fridge if you allow him/her to stay, all the while exclaiming, "Look at all these meats and cheese!

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Cats just like watching the records go 'round and 'round and 'round.

This is a stone-cold fact that we can back up with years of personal experience, extensive research, close, analytical scrutiny and, of course, GIFs. Might as well start fitting your kitty for a pair of tiny skinny jeans now.

When it comes to hipsters and cats, the rules of psychics (which you dimly remember from those classes that you dozed, drool-soaked, through) do not apply: For every action there is NOT an equal and opposite reaction.

Like…if your hands are covered in ink, I’ll probably want ‘em all over my naked body too.

I’m not into tattoo shaming but holy fuck that is literally a KINDERGARTEN CLASS CHALKBOARD.Considering the original "hipsters" were a jazz-loving, drug-taking subculture in the 40's and 50's, and included such geniuses as Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg, how it is that some trust fund, PBR-swilling people who claim to be "artistes" also got this title, I will never understand.

Katy Mixon has already reached the age of 34 from 2015.… continue reading »

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