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04-Feb-2015 14:09

After reading his apology two months ago to several bloggers who have, like me, spent years blogging against the problems caused by the purity teachings promoted by Harris and others, I started listening with some optimism.

I was seriously, MARTIN: Joshua Harris has been reflecting a lot on the impact of his book.

It is very likely that a percentage of your youth group is called to singleness and not to feel bad for people who just might not get married…and that they might actually not be the exception to the rule but that there is no rule.

Finding the “one” does not make you a better person, getting married in a certain time window does not make you more of an adult, and marrying the first person you love does not make you holier than others.

If that means getting married at 39 years old instead of your intended 22 years of age, then hallelujah for marrying someone who is a better fit for you instead of marrying so you can be married.

But most importantly: getting married and finding the “one” is not our life’s goal.

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And I think it’s taken time for the consequences of the way that people applied the book and the way the book affected people to play out.Brief background information: Joshua Harris wrote two books — one called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” which became a huge hit with young Christian singles when it first came out and a follow up, as if to say yes-you-can-now-date-but-under-the-guise-of-courtship, called “Boy Meets Girl” (because in Harris’s world, once a boy meets a girl, marriage ensues) Don’t get me wrong — these books were a great guide for me as an adolescent, boy-crazy and attending youth group to check out guys.

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